Friday, January 21, 2005
HELP Desk???
Billy, I know yer a computer consultant and you’ll find most of this to be my fault, but hear me out!
Everyone (yes, even the low-life contractors) received a new Dell computer at our company. They are sweet little desktops with DVD ROMs, Pentium 4’s and 20” flat LCD monitors. All came with Windows XP as well.
Sun is weird – they have their own version of Microsoft Office called Star Office. I receive a bunch of documents from Sun that need to be converted from Star to Microsoft and sent out for reporting. I had Star Office on my old computer, and it showed up on my new computer, but it wouldn’t open – it always tried to install when I attempted to open something then it would crash. I logged a ticket for re-installation of Star Office on 12/27.
I was also informed that I would be taking over billing for our Market Smart program, assisting one of our program managers. For this, I would need an application called Clients and Profits installed on my new computer. I went through a crash course training on the application right after Xmas and logged a ticked for installation on 12/29.
We’re pushing 3 weeks on BOTH tickets, and I got nothing so far. I know it’s just a matter of time before I get a document from Sun that needs to be converted because it happens every month. So, I grow the seeds and CALL the help desk on 1/13.
John picks up the call and decides to fix both issues with me on the phone right then and there. He asks for my computer name, and sends a request to my screen to take over my computer. I accept, and I’m stuck on the phone with him for 45 minutes trying to make small talk. It started out OK, with him commenting on my Devo wallpaper and the conversation went off into a music discussion. I’m talking guitar and 80’s music, and he’s a former band-fag trombone player. He’s about 40, so we can talk the same genre at least. But then things got a little thin and our conversation turned to odd bits of stretching for things to find common ground. For some reason, he’s thinking crude jokes are good small talk. The classic crude joke is good when you know the person and you know what you can get away with, but telling crude jokes to someone you’ve never met before is just uncomfortable to me.
I notice he’s misspelling the names of drives, and I have to correct him. They typical “not enough coffee” joke comes out of his mouth – granted it is only 9 am. I can see that he’s having trouble and I feel like I know what he’s doing wrong, but I’m not ready for him to turn into Jimmy Fallon’s help desk character from SNL, so I just watch painfully as he slowly realizes his mistakes. Help desk people know everything, so they think, so if you EVER try to correct them they go off. I need help here, so I’ll let him go for a while. However, I’m not sure how much he’s really helping me here.
He says he’s done – I log in again and test Star Office and C&P. They both open on a general basis, as they should, so I’m thinking we’re good to go. Now I put in a request to accounting for a C&P login.
A week later, as I expected, the Star Office document comes from Sun. It’s a simple cut and paste job as I take their version of Excel and throw the info into our own MS Excel doc. I double click the file from Sun and it is unrecognizable. So, I try to go the back way by opening Star Office first, but it tries to install again and crashes. I call the help desk.
John’s my man again. This time, we get to spend an hour together as he uninstalls and reinstalls this software about 4 times. In the process, he deleted some other software because it started with the word “star.” Actually, that software he just deleted was a pop-up blocker and kept me from getting crap through IE. OK, I’ll admit that not every site I visit at work is a work-related site, however, now I’ve got all sorts of crap coming up on my taskbar and 3-4 pop-ups whenever I open a web site. I’m not happy about this! Regardless, he finally reinstalls Star Office and I can finish my task.
The next day, I get my login from accounting for C&P. Excellent! Let’s open it up and see if we can damage something! I double click my desktop icon and it opens! I go to file, open application and I have to open it from another folder. OK, so I double click on Clients & Profits Pro 40.4 and I get “This application can’t be used by the C&P Player. Call the C&P helpdesk for an updated version.” Are you kidding? I honestly don’t have the patience to call the stupid help desk today. Ridiculous!
I called this morning and got Jim, not John. YAY! Jim said they’d look into fixing C&P for me (I think they didn’t install the full program) and add a pop-up blocker. I’m not holding my breath.
Slightly off the subject, but you’d think Tom would know better than almost ANYONE how inappropriate it is to send nipple-slip links to someone’s work email account. But no, he’s Tom, and he simply just doesn’t get it – ever! I mean, he’s 33 and he’s in IT! Guh!
Everyone (yes, even the low-life contractors) received a new Dell computer at our company. They are sweet little desktops with DVD ROMs, Pentium 4’s and 20” flat LCD monitors. All came with Windows XP as well.
Sun is weird – they have their own version of Microsoft Office called Star Office. I receive a bunch of documents from Sun that need to be converted from Star to Microsoft and sent out for reporting. I had Star Office on my old computer, and it showed up on my new computer, but it wouldn’t open – it always tried to install when I attempted to open something then it would crash. I logged a ticket for re-installation of Star Office on 12/27.
I was also informed that I would be taking over billing for our Market Smart program, assisting one of our program managers. For this, I would need an application called Clients and Profits installed on my new computer. I went through a crash course training on the application right after Xmas and logged a ticked for installation on 12/29.
We’re pushing 3 weeks on BOTH tickets, and I got nothing so far. I know it’s just a matter of time before I get a document from Sun that needs to be converted because it happens every month. So, I grow the seeds and CALL the help desk on 1/13.
John picks up the call and decides to fix both issues with me on the phone right then and there. He asks for my computer name, and sends a request to my screen to take over my computer. I accept, and I’m stuck on the phone with him for 45 minutes trying to make small talk. It started out OK, with him commenting on my Devo wallpaper and the conversation went off into a music discussion. I’m talking guitar and 80’s music, and he’s a former band-fag trombone player. He’s about 40, so we can talk the same genre at least. But then things got a little thin and our conversation turned to odd bits of stretching for things to find common ground. For some reason, he’s thinking crude jokes are good small talk. The classic crude joke is good when you know the person and you know what you can get away with, but telling crude jokes to someone you’ve never met before is just uncomfortable to me.
I notice he’s misspelling the names of drives, and I have to correct him. They typical “not enough coffee” joke comes out of his mouth – granted it is only 9 am. I can see that he’s having trouble and I feel like I know what he’s doing wrong, but I’m not ready for him to turn into Jimmy Fallon’s help desk character from SNL, so I just watch painfully as he slowly realizes his mistakes. Help desk people know everything, so they think, so if you EVER try to correct them they go off. I need help here, so I’ll let him go for a while. However, I’m not sure how much he’s really helping me here.
He says he’s done – I log in again and test Star Office and C&P. They both open on a general basis, as they should, so I’m thinking we’re good to go. Now I put in a request to accounting for a C&P login.
A week later, as I expected, the Star Office document comes from Sun. It’s a simple cut and paste job as I take their version of Excel and throw the info into our own MS Excel doc. I double click the file from Sun and it is unrecognizable. So, I try to go the back way by opening Star Office first, but it tries to install again and crashes. I call the help desk.
John’s my man again. This time, we get to spend an hour together as he uninstalls and reinstalls this software about 4 times. In the process, he deleted some other software because it started with the word “star.” Actually, that software he just deleted was a pop-up blocker and kept me from getting crap through IE. OK, I’ll admit that not every site I visit at work is a work-related site, however, now I’ve got all sorts of crap coming up on my taskbar and 3-4 pop-ups whenever I open a web site. I’m not happy about this! Regardless, he finally reinstalls Star Office and I can finish my task.
The next day, I get my login from accounting for C&P. Excellent! Let’s open it up and see if we can damage something! I double click my desktop icon and it opens! I go to file, open application and I have to open it from another folder. OK, so I double click on Clients & Profits Pro 40.4 and I get “This application can’t be used by the C&P Player. Call the C&P helpdesk for an updated version.” Are you kidding? I honestly don’t have the patience to call the stupid help desk today. Ridiculous!
I called this morning and got Jim, not John. YAY! Jim said they’d look into fixing C&P for me (I think they didn’t install the full program) and add a pop-up blocker. I’m not holding my breath.
Slightly off the subject, but you’d think Tom would know better than almost ANYONE how inappropriate it is to send nipple-slip links to someone’s work email account. But no, he’s Tom, and he simply just doesn’t get it – ever! I mean, he’s 33 and he’s in IT! Guh!
posted by Pat Angello, 3:20 PM
2 Buffaloes were bitter enough to post comments:
Please do not tell Tom I receive the Petranka Letter nearly every day in my In-box. Wednesday's version included a link to a video of a naked man, shown from the waste down, repeatedly being kneed in the balls by someone until he started bleeding all over himself and the kneer. Inappropriate? Sure, I guess. I'm thinking less "inappropriate" and more like "thoroughly repulsive."
You are correct -- I AM a computer consultant. Sort of. I mean, I work for a computer company and my business card says consultant. But I am SO FAR from a help desk person. Help desk people, you know, help people. I merely consult. I contend there is a big difference.
Beth, on the other hand. SHE's a Tier 2 Help Desk Resource (when she's working, that is). If I can get her to actually read this blog (something she's not real interested in doing, apparently), I'd be curious how she'd respond.
BTW, IBM owns Lotus, and there are many people in this firm who insist on using Lotus Suite -- basically the same totally incompatible thing as Star Office. Frankly, it's the worst productivity software I've ever used -- so bad as to be almost useless.
As for pop-up blocker, I recommend you download and install the Google Toolbar (which has a built-in and very effective pop-up blocker) to your IE. I've been using it for well over a year now with no ill effects, and it includes a Blogger button that automatically opens a window to compose a post to whatever blog you're looking at. (http://toolbar.google.com/)
Solid. Seriously. And it isn't a standalone program (it incorporates itself into Internet Explorer), so you should be able to install it without recourse.
You are correct -- I AM a computer consultant. Sort of. I mean, I work for a computer company and my business card says consultant. But I am SO FAR from a help desk person. Help desk people, you know, help people. I merely consult. I contend there is a big difference.
Beth, on the other hand. SHE's a Tier 2 Help Desk Resource (when she's working, that is). If I can get her to actually read this blog (something she's not real interested in doing, apparently), I'd be curious how she'd respond.
BTW, IBM owns Lotus, and there are many people in this firm who insist on using Lotus Suite -- basically the same totally incompatible thing as Star Office. Frankly, it's the worst productivity software I've ever used -- so bad as to be almost useless.
As for pop-up blocker, I recommend you download and install the Google Toolbar (which has a built-in and very effective pop-up blocker) to your IE. I've been using it for well over a year now with no ill effects, and it includes a Blogger button that automatically opens a window to compose a post to whatever blog you're looking at. (http://toolbar.google.com/)
Solid. Seriously. And it isn't a standalone program (it incorporates itself into Internet Explorer), so you should be able to install it without recourse.
Beth should read it - I think she'd get a kick out of it. Hell, even KT reads my blog!
Good advice on the google pop-up blocker - just installed it! YAY!
Good advice on the google pop-up blocker - just installed it! YAY!