Sunday, January 02, 2005
Pat Angello Fan Club Newsletter, 1/2/05
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It’s that time of year again. Time for all of the media to give us the best of, worst of, most influential, blah, blah, blah of the year. So why should Pat Angello be any different? I’ll get to it…
I love the way magazines run Best Of/Worst Of issues at the end of the year. However, the reader’s polls confuse me. How can one band/show/film be on the best AND worst list? I also dislike the “worst” lists because I get offended if there is ever anything on there that I liked. I literally take it personally!
My magazine of choice currently is Entertainment Weekly, mainly because it’s not as much of a rag as the other “entertainment” magazines (are the royal family in People this week?) and never really favors politics – they stick to the same comforting format. However, they have this annoying tendency to ride a trend and then suddenly condemn it. For instance, they’ll promote Paris Hilton for months and then run an article about how tired of Paris Hilton they are - just out of the blue. It’s like having a friend who eats nothing but pizza for a month, then when YOU offer them a piece, they say, “Oh my God – I’m so sick of pizza!”
Speaking of magazines, I keep seeing an ad for the new reality show, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search, with the headline “Who’s Your Girl?” So I decided, as a devotion to YOU, my avid and loyal readers, that I should study this ad and all participants in great detail and let you know who my girl would be. None of them are cute really. Actually, they are all kinda creepy looking and scrawny! Is this what we’ve got to choose from? Yikes! Wait, I just remembered – the last time I looked at the SI swimsuit issue, all of the models looked like 11-year-old boys in bikinis. They had no definition to their arms or legs, and their ribs and pelvic bones were sticking out so far that the cameramen used their hips to make orange juice. There is one (in the front row all the way to the right) that is almost cute and has some curves on her. She gets my vote (as if I’d actually view the show!) because she weighs the most, which could still only be about 110. Then, to top it off, I saw a commercial this weekend where one of the “judges” was calling one of the models fat. “I know you threw up cracker you had for lunch, but you should probably start yackin’ up the 1/8 of an apple you had for dinner if you want to make it in this business.”
Most of you may know that I reside in Denver, so I’m going to comment on the firing of Denver Nuggets’ coach, Jeff Bzdelik. I didn’t like it, and I really didn’t like the way GM Kiki Vandeweghe did it – with a phone call! “Hey, Jeff? It’s Kiki. How’s it goin? Good, good. Hey, listen. You know how you took this team from the depths of hell, when we had no talent to speak of, and you got them to work really hard and attract some fans as ‘the hardest working team in the NBA’ even though they kinda sucked? Then you took that awful team, with a few minor tweaks and a high draft choice, to the playoffs the next year? So I took all of your role players/key sparks off the bench like Jon Barry, Chris Andersen, and Ryan Bowen and dumped them for a bunch of thugs that don’t listen to you, and we lost our starting shooting guard for the season in the opener this year, and now we’re struggling a little with our big guns are hampered with injuries? Well, thanks but yer fired - Merry Christmas!” Nice! And how does Bzdelik handle it? The same way he handles everything from searing criticism during his first year to commenting on ‘Melo acting like a baby during the Olympics – with class and modesty. He started by mentioning the front-page story in the paper about the tsunami and said, “It really puts things in perspective.” He then thanked Kiki and the Nuggets for the great opportunity. So, now 3-time WNBA champion coach/former Laker great Michael Cooper takes over in the interim with big names being thrown around like dough in a pizza parlor. Could we really see Phil Jackson or George Karl in Denver? I have a ton of respect for Bzdelik and I will continue to follow his career, as I have done with former Avalanche coach, Bob Hartley. The only good thing about this firing is now I will never have to hear another idiot local sportscaster say, “The Nuggets told Jeff Bzdelik to buzz-off” again! But when Michael Cooper leaves, I’m sure there will be some annoying, “flew the Coop” reference.
Now that I’m on the subject of local news, I have a question: why do they have to try to use stupid little play-on-words commentary all the time? It drives me nuts because all it does is make people roll their eyes like a teenage girl that just heard a corny joke from their uncle! (Not that I would know anything about that…) Just report the damn story and quit trying to be cute. Oh, and stop with the scare-tactic ads like, “medicine in your house that could kill you, coming up at 10” garbage. Don’t try to freak us out, just tell us what’s going on! While we’re at it, no more localizing major news stories either. Don’t ride the wave of the tsunami (no pun intended) and say Denver could be at risk because we can’t! I’m exaggerating, but not by much.
Did you really think I wouldn’t include my NFL playoff predictions now that the games are set? Before I do that, how the hell did Minnesota and Denver make the playoffs? These two teams did everything they could to throw away the season after great starts. St. Louis and Seattle somehow made the playoffs as well with simply crappy records. It’s ugly in the NFC, so I’m thinking your Super Bowl Champion is coming from the AFC. Here’s what I got for you:
Round 1
AFC: Indy over Denver, San Diego over New York Jets.
NFC: St. Louis over Seattle, Green Bay over Minnesota.
Round 2:
AFC: Pittsburgh over San Diego, Indy over New England.
NFC: Philly over St. Louis, Green Bay over Atlanta.
Round 3:
AFC: Indy over Pittsburgh.
NFC: Green Bay over Philly.
Super Bowl:
Indy over Green Bay.
OK, it’s time (finally) for my 2004 wrap up:
My Top 11 Great Things of 2004 is posted on my blog (http://patangello.blogspot.com/), as well as a movie review for The Life Aquatic. Do you have any lists of your own or want to review a movie/CD/show? Take a look at my blog where I post my newsletters, as well as other writings. If you’d like to participate, let me know because you need to be invited. And by participate, I don’t mean posting things like, “Pat Angello is such a dork!” I think we can all agree that I’m a dork – I’m attempting to sell merchandise with my face on it. Besides, anyone is welcome to comment on a posted article on the blog by simply clicking on the “comment” section at the bottom of each post. When you click there, THEN you can tell me I’m a dork. However, I’m mainly asking people that like to write and have something to say to post articles or lists or whatever they want. Let me know if you are interested in posting something and I’ll send you an invitation!
Here are some additional things from 2004 that I liked or disliked:
Films I enjoyed: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Incredibles, The Grudge, The Life Aquatic, Mean Girls, Super Size Me, Anchorman, Napoleon Dynamite, Dodgeball, Shaun of the Dead. Missed, but heard were worth seeing: Team America, Sideways, Sky Captain. Disappointments: Open Water, National Treasure.
Music I enjoyed: The Hives, Sahara Hot Nights, The Black Keys, Megadeth (welcome back Dave Mustaine!), Franz Ferdinand, PJ Harvey.
TV shows I enjoyed: House, Desperate Housewives, Lost, Arrested Development, Medical Investigation, Wonder Falls (cancelled), 24, Reno 911, Listen Up, South Park (still!), the Daily Show (and America the Book).
Signs the Apocalypse is near: William Hung, the Swan, Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, political ads/telemarketing, Paris Hilton “wrote” a book, Red Sox win the Series, a Denver Bronco in the Hall of Fame, no NHL, Devo’s “Gut Feeling” being played in a retail outlet, Live’s “I am Overcome” being played in a grocery store.
Peace out, for now!
It’s that time of year again. Time for all of the media to give us the best of, worst of, most influential, blah, blah, blah of the year. So why should Pat Angello be any different? I’ll get to it…
I love the way magazines run Best Of/Worst Of issues at the end of the year. However, the reader’s polls confuse me. How can one band/show/film be on the best AND worst list? I also dislike the “worst” lists because I get offended if there is ever anything on there that I liked. I literally take it personally!
My magazine of choice currently is Entertainment Weekly, mainly because it’s not as much of a rag as the other “entertainment” magazines (are the royal family in People this week?) and never really favors politics – they stick to the same comforting format. However, they have this annoying tendency to ride a trend and then suddenly condemn it. For instance, they’ll promote Paris Hilton for months and then run an article about how tired of Paris Hilton they are - just out of the blue. It’s like having a friend who eats nothing but pizza for a month, then when YOU offer them a piece, they say, “Oh my God – I’m so sick of pizza!”
Speaking of magazines, I keep seeing an ad for the new reality show, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search, with the headline “Who’s Your Girl?” So I decided, as a devotion to YOU, my avid and loyal readers, that I should study this ad and all participants in great detail and let you know who my girl would be. None of them are cute really. Actually, they are all kinda creepy looking and scrawny! Is this what we’ve got to choose from? Yikes! Wait, I just remembered – the last time I looked at the SI swimsuit issue, all of the models looked like 11-year-old boys in bikinis. They had no definition to their arms or legs, and their ribs and pelvic bones were sticking out so far that the cameramen used their hips to make orange juice. There is one (in the front row all the way to the right) that is almost cute and has some curves on her. She gets my vote (as if I’d actually view the show!) because she weighs the most, which could still only be about 110. Then, to top it off, I saw a commercial this weekend where one of the “judges” was calling one of the models fat. “I know you threw up cracker you had for lunch, but you should probably start yackin’ up the 1/8 of an apple you had for dinner if you want to make it in this business.”
Most of you may know that I reside in Denver, so I’m going to comment on the firing of Denver Nuggets’ coach, Jeff Bzdelik. I didn’t like it, and I really didn’t like the way GM Kiki Vandeweghe did it – with a phone call! “Hey, Jeff? It’s Kiki. How’s it goin? Good, good. Hey, listen. You know how you took this team from the depths of hell, when we had no talent to speak of, and you got them to work really hard and attract some fans as ‘the hardest working team in the NBA’ even though they kinda sucked? Then you took that awful team, with a few minor tweaks and a high draft choice, to the playoffs the next year? So I took all of your role players/key sparks off the bench like Jon Barry, Chris Andersen, and Ryan Bowen and dumped them for a bunch of thugs that don’t listen to you, and we lost our starting shooting guard for the season in the opener this year, and now we’re struggling a little with our big guns are hampered with injuries? Well, thanks but yer fired - Merry Christmas!” Nice! And how does Bzdelik handle it? The same way he handles everything from searing criticism during his first year to commenting on ‘Melo acting like a baby during the Olympics – with class and modesty. He started by mentioning the front-page story in the paper about the tsunami and said, “It really puts things in perspective.” He then thanked Kiki and the Nuggets for the great opportunity. So, now 3-time WNBA champion coach/former Laker great Michael Cooper takes over in the interim with big names being thrown around like dough in a pizza parlor. Could we really see Phil Jackson or George Karl in Denver? I have a ton of respect for Bzdelik and I will continue to follow his career, as I have done with former Avalanche coach, Bob Hartley. The only good thing about this firing is now I will never have to hear another idiot local sportscaster say, “The Nuggets told Jeff Bzdelik to buzz-off” again! But when Michael Cooper leaves, I’m sure there will be some annoying, “flew the Coop” reference.
Now that I’m on the subject of local news, I have a question: why do they have to try to use stupid little play-on-words commentary all the time? It drives me nuts because all it does is make people roll their eyes like a teenage girl that just heard a corny joke from their uncle! (Not that I would know anything about that…) Just report the damn story and quit trying to be cute. Oh, and stop with the scare-tactic ads like, “medicine in your house that could kill you, coming up at 10” garbage. Don’t try to freak us out, just tell us what’s going on! While we’re at it, no more localizing major news stories either. Don’t ride the wave of the tsunami (no pun intended) and say Denver could be at risk because we can’t! I’m exaggerating, but not by much.
Did you really think I wouldn’t include my NFL playoff predictions now that the games are set? Before I do that, how the hell did Minnesota and Denver make the playoffs? These two teams did everything they could to throw away the season after great starts. St. Louis and Seattle somehow made the playoffs as well with simply crappy records. It’s ugly in the NFC, so I’m thinking your Super Bowl Champion is coming from the AFC. Here’s what I got for you:
Round 1
AFC: Indy over Denver, San Diego over New York Jets.
NFC: St. Louis over Seattle, Green Bay over Minnesota.
Round 2:
AFC: Pittsburgh over San Diego, Indy over New England.
NFC: Philly over St. Louis, Green Bay over Atlanta.
Round 3:
AFC: Indy over Pittsburgh.
NFC: Green Bay over Philly.
Super Bowl:
Indy over Green Bay.
OK, it’s time (finally) for my 2004 wrap up:
My Top 11 Great Things of 2004 is posted on my blog (http://patangello.blogspot.com/), as well as a movie review for The Life Aquatic. Do you have any lists of your own or want to review a movie/CD/show? Take a look at my blog where I post my newsletters, as well as other writings. If you’d like to participate, let me know because you need to be invited. And by participate, I don’t mean posting things like, “Pat Angello is such a dork!” I think we can all agree that I’m a dork – I’m attempting to sell merchandise with my face on it. Besides, anyone is welcome to comment on a posted article on the blog by simply clicking on the “comment” section at the bottom of each post. When you click there, THEN you can tell me I’m a dork. However, I’m mainly asking people that like to write and have something to say to post articles or lists or whatever they want. Let me know if you are interested in posting something and I’ll send you an invitation!
Here are some additional things from 2004 that I liked or disliked:
Films I enjoyed: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Incredibles, The Grudge, The Life Aquatic, Mean Girls, Super Size Me, Anchorman, Napoleon Dynamite, Dodgeball, Shaun of the Dead. Missed, but heard were worth seeing: Team America, Sideways, Sky Captain. Disappointments: Open Water, National Treasure.
Music I enjoyed: The Hives, Sahara Hot Nights, The Black Keys, Megadeth (welcome back Dave Mustaine!), Franz Ferdinand, PJ Harvey.
TV shows I enjoyed: House, Desperate Housewives, Lost, Arrested Development, Medical Investigation, Wonder Falls (cancelled), 24, Reno 911, Listen Up, South Park (still!), the Daily Show (and America the Book).
Signs the Apocalypse is near: William Hung, the Swan, Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, political ads/telemarketing, Paris Hilton “wrote” a book, Red Sox win the Series, a Denver Bronco in the Hall of Fame, no NHL, Devo’s “Gut Feeling” being played in a retail outlet, Live’s “I am Overcome” being played in a grocery store.
Peace out, for now!
posted by Pat Angello, 6:12 PM
1 Buffaloes were bitter enough to post comments:
ITEM! If you're a fan of Jackie Henry of "The Onion, America's finest source" you'll love the Pat Angello Fan Club Newsletter! I haven't had this much fun reading since the days when I collected Wacky Packs! Remember "Crust Toothpaste?" Hilarious!