The Bitter Buffalo

Three little mini-bloggies for a Monday:

• I just registered and listened to the two new (long-awaited) Fiona Apple tracks, "O' Sailor" and "Parting Gift," and I am happy to report that Fiona is back and better than ever! O' Sailor sounds exactly like at least four of the tracks on When the Pawn..., with a deliberate and plodding piano melody providing a stable structure for what is now a very familiar vocal formula. And "Parting Gift" is a lot like a downtempo version of "O' Sailor." The record will be well-marketed and will sell many copies to old fans, but I'll be really surprised if either of these two cuts wins over new blood. On the other hand, Apple is capable of collaborating with some excellent video directors (if "collaborating" and "cohabitating" can mean the same thing, in the case of Fiona and Paul Thomas Anderson), so maybe her sexy / evocative/slightly creepy look will be exploited appropriately in the visual realm (as if anyone these days would actually play a video, but that's a topic for another post).

• Have you purchased a Harmony Remote Control yet? I've bought four -- two for myself, and one each for my father-in-law and my mother. These little puppies are the coolest bits of technology to come around in a long time. More than merely universal remote controls (which are notoriously difficult to configure and use), Harmony Remotes quickly become an integrated part of your AV system. Configuration is a breeze, using a web-based interface that allows a user to easily upload remote configurations from a database of what seems like every infrared-controlled product ever made (and if you have any problems with set up, their Customer Service will help you, in real, understandable English -- easily the best telephone customer service I have used, ever). Using the Harmony is even easier. Press an activity button (like "Watch TV," or "Play XBox") and point the remote in the direction of your TV / stereo. Everything that needs to happen to do that activity occurs: the TV comes on, sets itself to the correct input, as does the stereo (if you listen to television through the stereo) and the cable / satellite box. Thereafter, the remote is configured as a multi-function remote for that activity: the channel button changes channels on the cable box, the volume button operates the receiver, and the aspect button works on the TV (assuming you've set it up to operate this way). And so on. I understand people balking at a $199 price tag for a remote control (I did, initally, though I now believe they're worth even more than that), but if you currently have to use three or more remotes to use your AV system, I promise it's well worth it (besides, you can find them online for as little as $118.99, and rebates are frequently available that bring the total price below $100).

• How many of you have your local newspaper -- the one printed on real paper with real ink -- delivered to your home in the morning? I get the impression that most folks in my generation find themselves too busy to read the paper. I also get the impression my generation is loathe to get up early enough in the morning to actually read the thing. That's too bad, because I find the morning routine (grinding, brewing, and drinking a pot of coffee while reading the paper, cover to cover, for an hour or so) to be deeply rewarding. Not only do I know what's going on in the world, I get a solid insight into local goings-on (business openings, lawmakers' follies, Doonesbury's controversial storylines, etc.) I just can't easily get while surfing the web. Too bad I don't have anybody to discuss it with.
  

Matt, point by point:

1) Great review of an old show... I remember you telling me about it when I came up for Hooverphonic.

2) I wholly endorse your clever approach to purchasing and justifying the Harmony, Matt (you can trust TigerDirect, I've bought 2 Harmonys from them online... brick & mortar doesn't get much cheaper than $179, unfortunately, and the TigerDirect store here doesn't carry them anyway). Harmonys are commonly referred to in AV forums as "marriage savers," the value of which can be measured by your wife's increased satisfaction with your expensive and indulgent audio/video system, which prior to her being able to operate it easily was tolerated only because Dr. Phil looks so damned good on it. The downside, of course, is that she'll forever be changing the channel to whatever Lifetime Movie of the Week is showing at the time, forcing you into the bedroom to watch Adult Swim on the 17" relic there. I know this because a friend told me it happened to him exactly like I described.

3) I hate using printers, as much as I love paper. I never so much as print even airline itineraries (which has up and bit me a couple times now when I showed up at the airport on the wrong day). And god forbid if a website suggests I print a copy of a page for my records, I should do so.

Printers are a pain. Here at work, they're clustered in rooms that are not really anywhere near where I am most of the time. They are nice printers, no doubt -- high speed document centers for faxes, copying, printing, etc., plus color lasers that work pretty fast, too. We even have a giant plotter printer for poster-size charts. Very nice. But clustered printers means waiting in a queue most of the time for one of the 400 or so other people who are assigned to the same printer cluster to print, oh, I dunno, their entire email folder, all 135 pages of it, which just bugs the hell out of me after I've waited 5-10 minutes already for my stuff to print, and I've walked all the way to the printer cluster only to discover that Mr. Email Printer accidentally hit Print All a second time and the printer is sitting idle waiting for the asshole to put in a piece of Legal Paper. So, in order to avoid this kind of aggravation, I simply avoid printing as much as possible.

But one look at this ratty desk of mine would convince you I use the printer all the time. In fact, I simply neglect to use the trash can as much as I should.

What sucks is sitting next to the printer at work and having the entire office think you know how to fix it when it's broken.

BTW, I don't care what kind of sales pitch you have, there is no way on earth you will convince me to buy a $100 remote

I don't think I'm as much media-addicted as media-aware. I watch very little TV, for instance -- most of what I DO watch is either sports (not that there's much of that worthy of watching this time of year) or DVR'd: Reno 911!, Entourage, The Comeback, etc. I watch zero to four DVD movies a week, depending on the time of year (much more in winter - and just three total since the beginning of June). And I play XBox sometimes, which also varies seasonally. But I read an awful lot about the latest stuff & gadgets & whatnot. An awful lot.

My real problem began when I saw High Definition TV for the first time. We needed to replace an aging TV in the bedroom, and I thought an affordable Samsung 26-inch CRT HDTV would work nice in there. HDTV for under $600! And it fit in the armoire perfectly! And since HDTV is often broadcast in Dolby 5.1, we needed a surround sound setup, right? So I took Beth's old Sony receiver and added a small Bose Acoustimass speaker system (it's in our bedroom, so size is important). We got a new DVD player with progressive scan for the TV (not an expensive one -- just over $100), and hooked up my XBox in HD, as well as Beth's old PS2 and VCR (not that we EVER use that). Beth's old CD player and a new Dish Network HD box rounded out what was supposed to be a simple bedroom setup, but which accidentally became our showpiece system (for an investment of just over $1,400, which was mostly the speakers and the TV). The Harmony became necessary there because the remote controls (there were five of them) took up so much damned room on my nightstand!

Then, of course, since Logan is evidently (according to Beth) sensitive to TV-watching noise at night, I had to expand the downstairs system. The centerpiece is a $2,700 Samsung 50-inch DLP that I got for free (thanks, Marriott Rewards). I had to buy a stand for the TV (the $250 Samsung stand they show in the ads turned out to be a piece of junk), a Dish Network HDTV DVR, and another Acoustimass system, but even those items were reasonable in light of the free TV part. And I had to buy a Harmony. But now that I have everything set up, I'm pretty happy (though I could stand to wire the speakers behind the wall...).

Hmm. I guess one thing that characterizes the media-aware is our compulsion to describe our AV systems to others.