The Bitter Buffalo

Chuck Klosterman wrote in the latest issue of SPIN that bands with the word “wolf” in their names have been proliferating lately (see Wolf Parade, Wolf Eyes, and [Klosterman argues] Animal Collective [which he says is close enough]). His argument that the word “wolf” is fashionably cool right now is sort of weak, but it got me thinking about band names. Specifically, about which band names work for me, and which do not. Perhaps it’s best if I demonstrate by example.

I like the name Bloc Party. It’s punny without being stupid (Crystal Method, on the other hand, is punny and stupid. Cool band, though.). And I like the name Youth Group, which for some reason strikes me as amusingly ironic.

Kings of Leon is a bad name for a good band. Kings of Convenience is an even worse name. King Biscuit Time is both nonsensical and derivative – bad name. In fact, King Crimson may be the only group name with the word “king” in it whose name I like. That, and maybe Joe “King” Carrasco and the Crowns (but then again, Joe King’s not been heard from ‘round these parts for a long, long time).

Franz Ferdinand is a great band with a dumb name. It just plain looks bad – historical significance aside. Plus, it's a guy's name – no different than naming your band, say Dennis Hopper, or Oral Roberts. What were they thinking? Kaiser Chiefs is another band with a name that alludes to real life (in this case, a South African soccer team). Unfortunately, I always read it as Kaiser Chefs and can’t stop thinking of the delicious sandwich creations they might make.

The Flaming Lips is a horrible band name made great by the band’s perseverance and endurance. Same can be said for Foo Fighters, I suppose, except I might use the word “good” instead of “great.”

Matson Jones is a great band with a name that seemed bad to me at first, but which is growing on me as I get more and more into them. Same can be said about another Denver band, Dressy Bessy. In both cases, I came around to the band name after I listened to their music (which is not so uncommon an occurence, I think).

Godspeed You! Black Emperor is a completely nonsensical and thoroughly stupid name that I would consider utterly crummy if they didn’t change the position of the ! now and again. As it is, I kinda like it.

Lightning Bolt and Mastodon are great band names because they are both so evocative of the bands’ sounds. Velvet Revolver is an abolutely tragic name for precisely the opposite reason: I can’t think of anything less threatening. Led Zeppelin is the only band that was able to pull off the overtly ironic band name thing. Nobody else should even try.

Mogwai is a name for a band that sounds nothing like a gremlin from a movie. Still… good name. Head of Femur is the kind of name that seems like an anagram of the lead singer’s name. It’s not a good band name.

Smashing Pumpkins is a good band name. Zwan is most definitely a bad band name.

Here is a random sampling of a few more band names I like:

• The Bad Plus (wholly nonsensical, but oddly rewarding if you let yourself think about it for a bit)
• Boards Of Canada (like Doves, Pixies, Talking Heads, and Tindersticks, I admire band names that discard the article, “The”)
• The Dandy Warhols (another name that struck me as punny and awful at first, but completely fun and appropriate once I became a fan)
• The White Stripes (clever and original)
• Le Tigre (maybe a bit jokey, but its double meaning as ferocious animal and fashion plate fits well with the band)
• MC 900 Ft Jesus (just plain funny – Oral Roberts is a freak)
• Pixies (succinct and ironic – a classic)
• The Refused (could also be the title of a Rob Zombie movie for which, come to think of it, this band might have made the perfect soundtrack)

Here are some band names I do not like (even though, in most cases, I like the bands themselves):

• Black-Eyed Peas (bands named after foodstuffs typically should regret their choice of band name – see also: Cracker, Renaldo and the Loaf, and Vanilla Fudge)
  
• James (bland, boring, and irrelevant – plus, have you ever tried to Google it?)
• Fountains of Wayne (funny only because I watch The Sopranos and know it’s a reference to a New Jersey statuary peddler – to everyone else not from NJ, just puzzling)
• Gigolo Aunts (naming oneself after an obscure Syd Barret song seems like a great idea when you’re high)
• Nada Surf (looks bad on paper, sounds bad rolling off the tongue – bad name)
• µ-Ziq (overly punny, pretentious, and impossible to alphabetize)
• The Sea and Cake (pretentious and irritating)
• The Soundtrack Of Our Lives (pretentious, irritating, and unwieldy)

The discussion is open. Post your thoughts on this important topic.

I'll start!

Nice Renaldo and the Loaf reference! Thanks!

I hate any band name that went on the trendy numbers thing. Sum 41, Blink 182, Maroon 5, Matchbox 20 - all just make me think of Haircut 100 (not U2), which is not the direction they wanted to go in.

Bands with names that have more than 3 words are just annoying, other than the classic ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead. Unfortunately, they don't even come CLOSE to living up to that cool name. These guys should have been a hardcore metal band.

Bands with names after people are only cool if the person is irrelevant (Lynyrd Skynyrd). I love when these bands get accidentally filed under the "last" name.

To add to your dumb names:
The The
Story of the Year
Linin Park (don't get me started on new school incorrectly spelled/made up word names: Metallica, Megadeth, Limp Bizkit, Stryper)


Cool names:
Residents
Scorpions (love names after scary animals)
Devo
X

Classic names:
The Hives
The Beatles (double meaning!)
(Insert person's name here) & (only cool things here) - Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble (this only works when person's REAL name is used)
Gay Dad
Queen
Ass Ponies
Kiss

I also like band names that make no sense. Rage Against the Machine. WTF?

Sometimes the word "dead" is brilliant, as in the Dead Kennedy's. Other times, it's just plain stupid, as in the Dead Milkmen.

Speaking of, love the names the Kills and the Killers, but how did that get trendy?

And what about King's X?

µ-Ziq (I've also seen it as U-Ziq or Mu-Ziq) is an awful name, and horribly unsearchable without a Greek keyboard, unless you like to cut and paste. Perhaps this explains why Paradinas has at least half a dozen others (Tusken Raiders, Kid Spatula, Jake Slazenger, Smog Carver, etc., etc., etc.)

Nu-metal is a veritable storehouse of shitty band names (and music!) To wit:

Mudvayne
Linkin Park
Saliva
Limp Bizkit
Spineshank
Darwin's Waiting Room (?!!)

I could go on, but why?

Matt:

First of all, Asia is still cool.

And "Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds" works beyond measure. On that, at least, we agree completely.

Second, Manitoba is a great band name / place name that was heinously stolen by that cockgobbler "Handsome" Dick Manitoba. He sullied it, but Snaith came through with his excellent new moniker (not a place name, sadly, though), Caribou. It could also be argued that Manitoba was stolen from the native Americans, and is thus not really a place name. But I don't buy it.

I'd also like to nominate the worst ever band name / place name (also Canadian, coincidentally): Chilliwack (you remember the song: "gone gone gone, been gone so long, been gone gone gone so long").

Top that, bitches.

Greg (husband of 2nd cousin or 3rd cousin, who's counting) made me laugh out loud with his mention of Spineshank -- a truly horrid band name. I would also like to nominate Dredg in the same category, a name that makes me want to pronounce "Dread-guh" whenever I see it.

I was relieved to learn over the weekend that there is at least a bit of coolness in my family's gene pool. Greg and his wife (and their adorable son, Christian, who is destined to be cool if for no other reason than he was wearing cool crocheted diapers to the family reunion) are second cousins (Greg's removed at least once, by virtue of his marriage, I think... but who has the time to learn how to label cousins properly?), and are "next-gen" cool -- unlike "current-gen" (my generation, gimme a break here, it's my comment"), they were born into cool & will never really have to work for it.

Both of these cousins are articulate, pleasant, and passionate about great music. But neither could fully explain the appeal of Conor Oberst. I'll leave that to another post.

Thanks for dropping by, Greg.

One of my fave band names was the name of an ex's band. BiG MiSTAKE. And yes, they wrote it just like that... as if a keyboard couldn't do capital I. They were a bunch of folks who learned how to play their instruments in order to form a band, and at first it sounded horrid, so the name fit. Other fave band names happen to be a couple of my fave bands: Minutemen and Replacements.

Least fave names:
the unprouncables:Quix*o*tic and
!!! and the cd name (). A friend of mine always wanted to call a band that upside down e symbol (pronounced "schwa"), but then Shellac used it for a cd title.

the names everyone pronounces wrong: Sigur Ros, Husker Du, Quixotic again, Les Savy Fav. Then there's 2 bands who are friends of mine: The Differents and The Difference... difficult to mention 1 without people thinking I'm speaking of the other.

good band, bad names: Archers of Loaf, Sunny Day Real Estate, Pedro the Lion, M's (yes, they are friends of mine, but the apostrophe connotates that the M OWNS something... should be Ms, but that just looks silly), These Arms are Snakes, Naked Raygun, Dogs Die in Hot Cars, Minus the Bear... with the proliferance of indie bands, this list could go on forever. I'm sure these names mean something to the band members, but who cares?

I've notice quite a few snakes lately: Deadly ones and Hot ones and Arms that are like ones. Also, a lot of Hot things... Knives, Heat (doubly hot!), and those Snakes again. Also, historical references are popular: Decembrists, Jacobites, Minutemen.

Then there are those poor bands who start out named one thing and have to change their name due to copy right infringement: Dinosaur n/k/a Dinosaur Jr., Chameleons n/k/a Chameleons UK, the Bees n/k/a Free the Bees.

Well, I've had my say.