Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Ninjas!!!
So, I was riding the metro home last night when two folks sat down right by me. Each had that kind of disaffected 20-something slacker look – both in black, he with a goatee and she with dyed black hair with reddish streaks and cat’s eye glasses. She even had black platform sneakers with a skull and crossbones where you would expect to find a Nike swoosh. From their conversation I deduced they are both office temps. She was talking about how tough it is when she outperforms the secretary pool, foments unrest and gets fired because she made them look bad. He was talking about how he loves MS Access but cannot stand Excel. “Everybody hates Access but I love it. You set me up with an Access database and I can do wonders. And nobody else can because they can’t stand the program.”
This is where the most precious comment came in. She claimed to be, and I quote, a “PowerPoint Ninja.” Ahh, a ninja. Well that would explain the black clothing, I suppose. She went on to proclaim “Give me a PowerPoint presentation and I can make it sing!” They then continued in a Starbucks triple shot, soy venti latte fueled rapid-fire conversation about their “mad skilz” with MS Office Suite and how 2003 is so much better than XP and how one of them once worked in an office where they had – GASP – Windows ME. It was as if I was transported to geekdom and got a slight glimpse into their world.
The whole surreal nature of their conversation reminded me of a time my brother and I were in a bagel shop. One of the girls behind the counter let out a squeal of glee as some scraggly looking dude walked through the door. She told her bagel sandwich making companion “That’s Tony. He is the best anarchist ever!” Whaaa? Mark and I just looked at each other trying to make sense of that comment. Is there a hierarchy in anarchy? And if so isn’t that kind of antithetical to the Anarchist movement? How does one become “the best” anarchist? What is the position description and the performance evaluation criteria? What had good old Tony been doing in his spare time that makes him worthy of the title just now bestowed upon him? And what does the "best anarchist ever" do in the suburbs of Syracuse, New York? Hide the shopping carts at Wegman's? Move the men's tees at Drumlins Country Club to the ladies' tees? De-alphabetize the science fiction section of Barnes & Noble on Erie Boulevard? Damn anarchists! I look back on that and even now, some 8 years later, am still baffled by it.
Anyway, I hope I never proclaim myself to be a ninja of any sort. Much less an MS Office Ninja. At least being called the "Best Anarchist Ever" has something of a ring to it. It would make me appear at least a little dangerous and mysterious. But a “PowerPoint Ninja”? I think they stay home on prom night.
This is where the most precious comment came in. She claimed to be, and I quote, a “PowerPoint Ninja.” Ahh, a ninja. Well that would explain the black clothing, I suppose. She went on to proclaim “Give me a PowerPoint presentation and I can make it sing!” They then continued in a Starbucks triple shot, soy venti latte fueled rapid-fire conversation about their “mad skilz” with MS Office Suite and how 2003 is so much better than XP and how one of them once worked in an office where they had – GASP – Windows ME. It was as if I was transported to geekdom and got a slight glimpse into their world.
The whole surreal nature of their conversation reminded me of a time my brother and I were in a bagel shop. One of the girls behind the counter let out a squeal of glee as some scraggly looking dude walked through the door. She told her bagel sandwich making companion “That’s Tony. He is the best anarchist ever!” Whaaa? Mark and I just looked at each other trying to make sense of that comment. Is there a hierarchy in anarchy? And if so isn’t that kind of antithetical to the Anarchist movement? How does one become “the best” anarchist? What is the position description and the performance evaluation criteria? What had good old Tony been doing in his spare time that makes him worthy of the title just now bestowed upon him? And what does the "best anarchist ever" do in the suburbs of Syracuse, New York? Hide the shopping carts at Wegman's? Move the men's tees at Drumlins Country Club to the ladies' tees? De-alphabetize the science fiction section of Barnes & Noble on Erie Boulevard? Damn anarchists! I look back on that and even now, some 8 years later, am still baffled by it.
Anyway, I hope I never proclaim myself to be a ninja of any sort. Much less an MS Office Ninja. At least being called the "Best Anarchist Ever" has something of a ring to it. It would make me appear at least a little dangerous and mysterious. But a “PowerPoint Ninja”? I think they stay home on prom night.
posted by Anonymous, 10:20 AM
3 Buffaloes were bitter enough to post comments:
Dude, that's hilarious! I don't refer to myself as a "ninja" so much as a "commodore." So much more refined, respected, caucasian...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I'm a bit surprised MS Office Ninjas use public transportation. I was also a bit shocked to see Napolean Dynamite (dude in tweed sportscoat, green t-shirt and redish afro) sitting next to Brittany Murphy (dyed blonde with heroin-addict eyes and HUGE lips) riding the lightrail to the Avs' game this week. Can I count this as a celebrity sighting?